I will never be a “Guitar Hero”


Yes, folks, it’s true.  I do NOT have what it takes to be a Guitar Hero.  As much as I enjoy the game, and can pluck out a little of a song, I cannot sit long enough to actually make anything of it.  Seriously.  The whole thing makes my tendonitis act up, too.  That is not a good thing.  Numb hands are not a guitar controller’s friend.

That and I do lack the basic coordination needed to play it.  It makes me feel…well…inadequate.  Plain and simple.  I can mold clay, paint fine lines and draw, but, this it too much for me.  I turn into someone who is coordination-ally impaired.  My fingers fumble for the fret buttons like a Ticonderoga police officer fumbles with an under aged girls bra fasteners.

My sister bought the “Guitar Hero World Tour” band-in-a-box set.  It’s got another guitar (I say ‘another’ as we already have one of the older models from “Guitar Hero: Legends of Rock”), a multicolored drum set, and a microphone.

Upon seeing these things I figured I would be able to pick up, at least, one of the new items and play along.  Wrong-O!  The drums are awkward, especially the “purple button” that is the foot pedal.  I wound up looking stupider playing the drums than I did playing the guitar.

The mic is a pretty cool addition to the game.  It’s fun to play around with, but, my singing voice leaves a lot to be desired.  And some of the songs I didn’t even know.  It’s not that the words don’t show up for you.  They do!  But, you need a magnifying glass to read some of them.  I suppose if we had a bigger TV…

I do, in all honesty, like the game.  I just don’t play it well.  It’s hoot to pick it up, on occasion (read when alone) and pluck at it.  I also like watching others play it.  Maybe I am just fascinated by all the pretty colors?

There really hasn’t been much for me to play, lately.  There are many games I want to try (“Star Wars: The Force Unleashed”) or know that I can play (“Lego Indiana Jones), but, money is tight.  Even for rentals.  My mom is buying me “Animal Crossing: City Folk” for my birthday.  That is a pretty hands-off kind of game.  I guess I’ll just have to wait for that.  And cheer everyone on as they are crowned “Guitar Heroes!”


4 Responses to I will never be a “Guitar Hero”

  1. ddemoura says:

    Believe me, I have been playing guitar for years. If you are going to invest that much time in Guitar Hero to get good at it, clearly, buying a real guitar and learning how to play would be a far better use of your time and energy.

  2. jwlashline says:

    I have a guitar. I can’t get it to tune correctly. And no one will teach me how to play! LOL I own three instruments, and play none. Guitar, bongos and a keyboard (which was gifted to me when a friend moved, and opted not to take it).

  3. ddemoura says:

    I can teach you. Although my Parkinson’s has progressed to a stage where I have given up playing, I am still quite capable of teaching the art of guitar or drums or similar instruments. Question is: is time and distance a great barrier for us? What make is your keyboard?
    I was once a member of many defunct bands. I enjoyed the jam sessions, never had much intention of being a professional musician. I have played blues, rock, and even funk. My last gig as a musician was providing guitar riffs for an unsuccessful rap group as background on their work. They preferred my guitar playing to sampling, which is kind of a compliment. I hated working with them… they always kept touching my instruments in my old basement studio.

  4. John says:

    Dan, it’s John. Doing this message on a computer away from home. I will e-mail you (I did send one) with my cell number. Maybe we can set something up. I am unsure of the make of my keyboard, but, will find out for you soon!

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